In The Beginning...

When I was about 11 or so my mom gave me a stack of records. My mom was a fan of 80’s rock, glam metal in particular. I grew up listing to things like Mötley Crüe, Warrant, Whitesnake etc. She was also a big fan of Queen, Styx, and Journey. I was expecting these kinds of records, but no. This time mom pulled a fast one on me. Judging by the dates on the records, this was her early childhood collection. These bad boys were from about the time that she was 6 to about the age of twelve. The records i got that day were some of the most sugar coated bubble gum pop that you could ever imagine. Shawn Cassidy, The Archie’s, the Partridge Family, The Bay City Rollers; In other words the Crème de la Crap! Still I have some found memories for some of those records. Maybe i was exposed at an impressionalble age. I think that the Archie’s “Waldo P. Emerson Jones” is a brilliant song, and I still have a fondness in my heart for the Bay City Rollers cover of Bowie’s “Rebel Rebel” ( In my defense I heard their version first!) Maybe it’s the inner hunter-gather in me but I love to search through obscure records, books, and movies trying to mine the gold from the lead. Most of the time when I find myself in a record bin at a thrift store, I’m searching for the few good record that a person let go of. I’ve gotten a pretty great and often surprising collection this way. Every once in a while I will pick up a record based on an incredible cool or incredible horrible looking cover, often though these records go un-listened to.

This weekend I was at the cavernous Record Exchange on Hampton Ave. In St. Louis. If you are a music fan you owe it to yourself to make a trip there some time. Nestled in a former City Library, the store is over stuffed with music and movies. The store kind of specializes in out molded formats, as they have a large selection of Vinyl, VHS, and Laserdisc. Record Exchange is literally packed to the rafters with product. To my delight they have a huge selection of dollar records. I have often used this to fill in holes in my mainstream rock records collection as it is a cheap way to get quality records and every once in a while i pick up something becasue of a unique cover.

This weekend I was pouring over the bins, when Joe (who along with Otan was with me in STL), walked by. I showed him one practically disastrous album cover and Joe said “ You Should get it see if you can listen all the way through and write a blog about it. By the time I left the store I had a plan for a whole series of blogs, not to mention a set of ground rules and of course cannon fodder for me to listen to.

First the rules.

1.) I MUST NOT KNOW THE ALBUM OR THE ARTIST

I have a pretty big musical knowledge so if I don’t know what I am getting into I can assume one of three things, a.) the music never was a hit and very few people ever heard it. b.) It was a minor hit and the artist never followed it up and thus they have re-entered obscurity. Or c.) It was a popular artist in a sub genera of music that had or has since gained a cult following. The kind of thing that someone may go “Oh My God they are this amazing French progressive band” but 99.9 % of us will go “WHO?” There are some corollary’s to this rule.

1-A.) The Otan Corollary

Due to the number of obscure bands that Otan has mentioned or told me about I’m allowed to listen to any band that I know the name of but have never heard their music provided on two conditions. One I never knowingly heard their music and two if I mention the band to the average person they have no clue who I am talking to.

1-B.) The Attila Corollary

Before he was famous Billy Joel put out an album with the Band Attila it was organ driven Metal. Needless to say it was vastly different than the rest of his body of work. I’m entitled to listen to an artist I know only if the only knowledge I have of the album is that it is so different than the rest of their work that it might as well be a different band. Also this applies to artist who were previously famous with another project but went on to do one is completely under the radar.

1-C.) The Lemmon Pipers Corollary

If a band released a one well known hit single followed it up with an album that flopped, I’m allowed to Judge the album, but the single is removed from the albums judgment ( I will do a scoreless review of that song). I’m stating this corollary now but this is mainly held in reserve. I’m going to attempt not to use this as I think it detracts from the project but I can see needing to activate it when material gets thin.

1-D.) The Follow Up Corollary

If I have previously reviewed a bands work and I Happen to track down a follow up or previous album I can at my own judgment give them a whirl again.

2.) I COME FOR THE ROCK

What I find on the cover has to lead me to believe that this was a popular music contender when it was released. Pop, funk, rock, metal, ETC. That’s not to say I won’t get a Jazz album, or a gospel record, or hell even classical Peruvian Banjo. What it means if that the material on the cover alone leads me to believe it is at least an attempt at “Rock and Roll”

3.) IN FOR A PENNY, IN FOR A POUND!

Once I start listening I have to make it through the album and finish the review, or die trying.

4.) SPIN THE BLACK CIRCLE

The record has to come on a 33 and 1/3 and from what’s judged on by the cover, date back to the first age of vinyl. Roughly from from 1953 to 1989. Someone may send me a indie band from 2002 on vinyl and it may slip in because it looks old. But every attempt will be made to make sure this is all vintage. If it slips through the vetting process, however rule 3 overrides this one. Once the needle hits the wax I’m committed.

5.) I DON”T FIND RECORD, THE RECORDS FIND ME!

I will not go and seek out an obscure album that comes recommended and review it. There are only two methods for a record to show up in this blog. One I find it in a bargain bin at a record shop or at a thrift store or two a friend or reader gives it to me.

5-A.) The Shut-In Corollary

Another corollary that I plan on not using unless it’s an emergency. I am allowed to buy a record based on cover alone off of EBay or other web sites, but only if the price paid would put it in the bargain bin category. This is mainly just to help protect against dry spells.

6.) THE METHOD TO THE MADNESS

I will use a per song rating noted in the track by track review with a maximum rating of five stars Each track is weighted in the final review by roughly the percent of album it takes up. If side two is a twenty minute long opus that bores me to tears and get 1 star but side one is four five minute tracks that blow me away and gets 5 stars each the album as a whole would get 3 stars.

Scale

***** = Song (Album) is a true hidden masterpiece. This should get a serious critical evaluation.

**** = Song (Album) Should have been a Hit

*** = Song (Album) Is competent for what it is. Mediocre is not inherently a bad thing

** = Some Times there is a reason for Obscurity, this song (album) is an example.

* = Jon Tesh, Yanni, and Zamfir feel band for the guys who did this Song (album)!

0! = Horrendously bad, this Song (album) needs a U.N. resolution banning it !

So there you have it. Tomorrow ill post the first review, The Glass Bottle provided I get some pictures of the cover and a host for some MP3’s